Whips & Chains
by Pandora's Teapot
Summary: The tug of war run-around Batman plays with the Joker has become something he never expected. Please note: I make it a policy to read stories by those who review me, so please review!


**WHIPS & CHAINS: Batman vs The Joker!**

**By Pandora Skye**

The sordid creatures of Gotham City had always debated as to whether or not the Batman's armour was moulded to his true form. Most believed not, but the Joker knew better. Those perfectly sculpted muscles had laid into him more times than he could remember, he knew what they felt like all too well. It was particularly electric tonight as the Clown Prince of Crime perched on the edge of the Gotham City Bank, a smiley face detonator curled neatly in his long fingers. He itched for the fight tonight, couldn't wait to be under those fists again.

"Well," he chirped, "curtain time!" With that, the Joker leapt from the bank, freefalling to the ground. She'd better not forget him again, he thought to himself, cackling at the memory of shooting Harley Quinn for letting him almost fall to his doom last time. But as he did, the lithe little harlequin jester swung from out of nowhere to catch her boss and fly him to safety. "Hey Mister J, not late this time!" Harley chimed in her annoyingly bright voice. The Joker had that low, dark rasp of the Batman tantalising his mind. "Shut up Harley, we're working!" he hissed and pressed the button on the detonator.

KABOOM!

First it was shards of glass sparkling in the night, quickly followed by hellish flames and debris. This excited the Joker into peals of laughter. But inevitably, it was the billowing clouds of smoke that really got him going. Alright, now it was only a matter of time...he would come for certain. "Hey Mister J! That was the best! Kaboom! Hahahaha!" squealed Harley Quinn, lunging at him and wrapping him in a suffocating embrace, "you're my hero Mister J!" The Joker struggled with his sidekick, pushing her off him roughly until she hit the ground. He pulled his gun from the holster and aimed at her. "Listen here Harley Quinn, I've had just about enough of your antics!" he scolded, "don't make me shoot you again." Harley quivered in fear and backed away from the man she loved, knowing that he would shoot her without a second thought. "Okay Mister J, I'll just wait for ya back at home then..." she whispered. His eyes narrowed and he grinned wickedly. Yes, he thought, wait at home. You can be the encore, little one. The Joker fired to her left and she leapt to her feet, scrambling away in fear. Harley Quinn, he thought as he admired the curves of her backside in that skin tight rubber suit of hers, what an investment you were my love! He waltzed to edge of the rooftop, alone now, to admire his work. The excitement in him grew and his eyes scanned the smoke for that thinning darkness that preceded the entrance of the bat. Oh yes, he would come.

Within the moment, he came piercing through the reddish clouds, cape billowing violently, eyes ablaze. The Joker grinned, admiring his nemesis, oh how fun this game had become! "Good evening Batsy! Right on time, as always," the Joker sneered beneath his monstrous grin, "and I'm so happy to see you." Batman crouched down low, his thighs glinting in the light of the raging flames so near. The Joker was beside himself. "You're going back to Arkham, maximum security as always," Batman warned. The Joker laughed maniacally. "You know I'll just escape like I always do my batty friend! But if you insist...shall we dance?" And with that, the Joker hurled a tiny sphere at Batman. He glanced at it quickly. Joker Gas bomb! With lightning reflexes he dove over the edge of the building, just in time to escape the deadly explosion. The Joker cackled wildly, looking over the edge. Of course, the grappling hooks, the wings...something so easy couldn't kill the Batman. But the Joker didn't want to kill him anymore than he wanted to kill Harley. They were just too much...fun! "Come on! Come on! Let's go!" he taunted the Batman.

Batman knew what the Joker wanted. He wanted a beating, he wanted to be the masochist tonight. He hated giving in to him like this, but the truth was...Batman wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp as much as the Joker wanted it. Such was their need for one another. No, Batman told himself so many times, I don't need him at all! But he did. He needed the Joker more than he needed Bruce Wayne and all his money and women, because Batman was who he was. And Batman was a sadist looking for a masochist to balance him out. In seconds, Batman had flown up the building, latched onto the Joker's collar and rolled him backwards over the rooftop, pinning him to the concrete tiles. "Haha! Why Batsy, so direct!" the Joker snickered, "no wonder you don't have a girlfriend! Oh wait...the cat dame! Ring-a-ding-ding! Hahaha! Too bad Harley wiped the floor with her before handing over to Poison Ivy for a few nights of torture! Hahaha! She might still be sane enough to give you a decent romp around this city!" Yep, that did it.

THUMP!

Batman's fist connected savagely with the Joker's face. He laughed, of course, spitting blood from his mouth. "No need to be gentle Batsy, we've done this a hundred times before," he spluttered. Batman let go of him and walked away. "Aw, what's the matter? We were just getting started!" the Joker giggled, still sprawled on the ground, "come on, I won't tell if you don't! Hahahahaha!" Batman looked at him, pasty white with that menacing smile and crazed eyes, wild green curls of hair, always drenched in purple fabric. "You're sick," he said in his low voice. The Joker rose and glared at him, still smiling. "Yes, I am. But so are you Batman. Because you like it! You want it! You're hungry for it! That's why I keep you around, because you're so much...well you're entertaining!"

The Joker was so close to him now, Batman could smell the nicotine on his breath, see the glinting patterns in his psychotic eyes. But he couldn't move away, something held him there and made his heart pound in a race with his lungs as they struggled to provide the air he needed now. A drop of sweat rolled from under his mask and down to the tip of his nose. "Ah Batsy, we're two of a kind, we are. You can't hide anything from me," the Joker hissed, daring to run his index finger down the length of Batman's armour, "I understand you better than you understand yourself, that's why one day I'll kill you. Unless you get me first..." With that, the Joker leant forward and licked the drop of sweat from Batman's nose. Batman shuddered, this wasn't him, this was dangerous. He grabbed the Joker's collar again and lifted him off his feet. "I'm nothing like you! I don't keep lovesick doctors as pets for my own sick pleasures!" The Joker roared with laughter. "Harley? Ah hahahahaha! Batsy, she means nothing to me, I swear it! Don't be jealous now! She stays of her own accord, I didn't make her fall in love with me, but what can I say! I'm a charming kind o' guy!"

Batman was saddened. He was the only one who could see it. Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, Selina Kyle, even Pamela Isely aka Poison Ivy had all tried to tell him, there was no hope for Docotor Harlene Quinzel. She belonged to the Joker now, she was only Harley Quinn these days. But he had refused to believe it, because she had helped him capture the Joker once before, because she suffered unspeakably by the Joker's hand, yet love held her to him. Only Batman truly believed that the Joker felt nothing for her...now he wondered whether it was because he really believed it, or because he didn't want to believe that he might. The Joker saw this thought process and it thrilled him. "Let me make it easier for you," he said, tapping the Batman's fist as a signal to be put down. Batman relented against his better judgement. The Joker straightened his jacket, but did not move away. "You are enraged by evil because evil created you Batsy, deep down inside you know that evil could embrace you and take all that pain away," he whispered, edging closer again to whisper in his ear, "but you're not evil Batman, so you ease it by inflicting pain on those who are, those like me. I am everything you would love to be, but you can't admit it. And when I tortured the Boy Wonder, you watched Harley fuck me instead of watching him. What do you want Batman? Do you want the light or do you want the dark? There's only one way to know for certain..." The Joker pressed his cheek against Batman and slid backwards slowly so that their noses were touching at the tips. "But it's very, very naughty," whispered the Joker.

Batman's senses were confused. Nearby, Gotham City Bank still blazed and the buzz of police and fire fighters only now hit him. He was being seduced by a mad man, but did nothing to stop it. He just stood there, letting this maniac close enough to thrust a blade into his side or spray him with the venomous Joker Gas! But his senses told him that the Joker wanted nothing more than a serious beating to get his motor running before going home to Harley Quinn, more than willing to let him revert back to the sadist and do whatever vicious thing he felt in the mood to do to her. Doubtlessly, he would record it and have it posted to Batman care of Commissioner Gordon. His mind was made up. "Sorry Joker, not tonight," he growled, grasping onto the Clown Prince and zapping him with electric rope. The Joker was stunned, "What? What's going on Batsy!" he shouted. Batman smirked. "You like sado-masochistic games? Fine. I'm denying you the pain you want. And just because we're such old friends, I'm denying you the ability to get what you want from Harley Quinn too. You're going to Arkham Asylum. Tonight." The Joker laughed hysterically. "You're pretty good at this Batsy! But she's a hot blooded dame herself you know, it's only a matter of time before she comes looking for me and what she wants. You can't win! Hahahahaha! You can't win until you give in and admit what you want ! Ah hahahahahahaahaha!"

Batman delivered the Joker, laughing all the way, to the maximum security wing of Arkham Asylum that night. But as he perched on the spire of Gotham Tower overlooking the city, he felt uneasy. With himself. What had he felt on the roof tonight with the Joker? Whatever it was, it must be banished and never allowed to return. Because the truth was, as Batman looked over the glittering lights of this kingdom he was sworn to protect, his eyes were continually drawn back to Arkham. And somewhere inside himself, he decided not to go after Harley Quinn. Because the truth he could not face himself was that he wanted her to break the Joker out...so he could face him again.

*** A short story by Pandora Skye, as adapted from the characters of the DC Comics classic, Batman. These characters are not original and have been borrowed for the purpose of paying tribute to the epic (and twisted) love of The Joker and Harley Quinn. Pandora Skye whole heartedly supports all Arkham Asylum inmates in the crusade for the total demise of Batman, even if he is the coolest superhero ever. On that note, I support the legalisation of gay marriage in Australia! If The Joker and/or Batman ever wanted to explore sado-masochistic homosexuality, that's fine by me. X PS.**


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